Even in sickness and dying, which could be the most hopeless and dark and lonely place- we can be used to glorify Him. We are all withering away..this is part of our fallen nature- that we have very short lives- and God constantly strips us down- again and again- through sickness (even just a cold) to humble us over and over. But, ultimately- when you're getting to the place of death and dying- that can be so dark and consuming- and could really extinguish all the hopes and joys you've had on the Earth for most of your life. I'm sure it's a constant challenge for people with terminal illness- to come to God- again and again- and ask that He fill them with joy and hope- and remind them that their home is not here- that they are just slowly getting closer to entering their TRUE home. It's just hard for our minds to conceive this beautiful and perfect home.

Anyways, I love the article I found by John Piper that I linked above. He reminds us that a true miracle is not only found in being healed from sickness- but also in being full of joy and peace while our sickness remains. That is a MIRACLE of GRACE! :) I realize now- looking back over my dad's death- that my dad died with such GRACE given to Him, by God. He had so much peace while he was dying- it was almost shocking. Even our entire household was filled with a strange peace. And directly after his death- we still felt that peace. That peace filled all of our lives for a while- it wasn't really until about a year after his death that we all started to feel anxiety and I think that is from comparing our lives to those around us-feeling pity and letting his death absorb the joy and good memories- and turn into a darkness, and a sort of depression. :( I think we've all- my mom, brother, and I- returned to a kind of "new normal"- but there is always a small empty feeling- missing him. I pray that God would fill that "hole" that is there now because of my dad being gone- with overflowing joy and peace. :) We still need to pray for His graces to reach down and touch us. Ask and you will receive. Knock and the door will be opened to you. Sometimes all you need to do is merely ask. :)

Okay, well those are my thoughts for today. Off to run some errands and make some returns/exchanges from Christmas AND weed out my closet..it's overflowing w/ clothes I never wear.
Later~
Aud

This is really cheesey, but I started listening to Taylor Swift back in June, in the car on the way to Sally's lakehouse- and whenever we were together- and now I love her songs- they are very pure and honest and remind me of a great time in my life- end of high school and entering college. The world was wide open and I was so full of excitement and wonder, and I was deeply in love...which brings me to the song "Fifteen." It's been on the radio a lot lately, and everytime I hear it- it really brings back memories.

"Fifteen" really speaks to me, even though I'm not fifteen- that was ELEVEN years ago-but it is still something a girl- or woman- needs to be reminded of- to not give her heart away completely- to keep some of it for herself and be true to herself. Hopefully fifteen year old girls are really listening to this song. I think it's important for teenage girls to realize they don't need to give everything to a boy just because he says he loves you. Girls need to enjoy simple things- like hanging out w/ their girlfriends- and not give everything to someone else. :)

I was 16 when I fell in love for the first time, and although I don't regret my past- I do realize I didn't spend the time getting to know myself at times that it was truly important to do so. It wasn't until the last three years- one while my dad was dying and now the two years of grieving-that I feel I've really learned who I am and what I want in life. And the self-respect thing- part of that is realizing when people are taking you for granted- friends, co-workers, etc. and sticking up for yourself and letting your "no's be no's" and your "yeses be yeses", etc. :) Those things seem simple- but for me- they took a while to learn. I used to be the ultimate in push over and doormat..and that's how I got my heart broken...so, lyrics...read them. And watch the video at the bottom. :)

Fifteen lyrics
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;
You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

Here's the video (acoustic version):

I have always wanted to do wedding photography, I just never knew how to break into it. So, if this serves as a good experience, then maybe I'll continue to be a second shooter/assistant for wedding photographers for a while, and then take some more photography classes (I've only taken ONE black & white film photography class back in college). I think that if I had the time and resources to do it, I could be an amazing wedding photographer! I already take millions of photos anyways! Every trip I go on, even if it's only for three or four days- I take between 400-1000 photos! I don't even know how many photos are on my iPhoto on my Macbook, but I think last time I looked it was like 10,000 and that was only since 2004!! :)

Anyways, this girl seems really sweet and I can't wait to help her and learn from her!! :) I'm going to do the best I can! :) I'm planning on getting a lot of rest the night before- because it's a 9 hour event! And, after working 50 hours teaching, I know I'll be kind of tired..but somehow I manage to get all this extra energy on the weekends..I guess b/c I'm not working- I'm playing! :) This will be a JOB, but it will still be fun!! :) Can't wait! I'll let ya'll know how it goes!! :)

Here's a link to Ashley's Photography webpage with her Portfolio! Her work is edgy yet classy! :)
http://www.flashwithash.com

Gosh..I'm SOOOOO excited!! :) YAY! Later guys~ ;)

I really do need to wait on the Lord in all areas of my life- I tend to think too far into the future and not always focus on TODAY! :) I want so badly to get married and move away from Houston, and have children, etc. I want all of that stuff so badly. If I don't get married- I want to join the Peace Corps- I have all these plans. :) I need to wait on the Lord to tell me where to go. But at the same time I should realize that waiting is not in VAIN- He is strengthening me EVERY day through this time. I should cherish and LOVE this single time where I actually HAVE time for myself and my relationship with God! I have all this time where I could be painting..and that's what I need to be doing. I also need to journal, do photography, ride my bike outside when it's a beautiful day! Spend time with my mom, my brother, and all my wonderful friends...cherish it all! :)

Later, this is all I can write for now!! :) Have a good one~

This man, Michael Gerson, is very traditional and conservative obviously when it comes to discussing modern-day dating. But, I agree with him on SO MANY levels. I think it is really unhealthy to cohabitate with multiple people you are dating before finally getting married at 26 or 28 (average ages for females and males today). The reason I believe this- is it does set you up for a pattern of divorces. You have chosen to live your life with another person- day to day- just as if you were married, and then you break it off just as you would a marriage, except without the paperwork and the title. But your bond, and the relationship you shared- the things you shared- a house, an apartment, etc. is all gone- just like in a divorce. You have given your everything to that person- and then taken it all away. It seems so complicated.

I agree with him that ENGAGED (or soon-to-be engaged) couples who cohabitate probably don't suffer from living together before marriage- because they have only lived with each other..but he is talking about the "serial cohabitors" who live with multiple people and have multiple serious relationships where the couple lives together. That is just unheatlhy-I would have to get counseling for that probably. Anyways, I am still extremely traditional in that I wouldn't even live with someone I was engaged to- I am waiting til marriage- to be walked past the threshold- being carried in my husband's arms into our new home together. Haha..I'm so traditional when it comes to that. :) But, to each his/her own! :) These are just my feelings. Later~ Oh, and here's the link to the article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/15/AR2009091502981.html?wpisrc=newsletter


Lost in a World Without Courtship

By Michael Gerson
Wednesday, September 16, 2009

There is a segment of society for whom traditional family values are increasingly irrelevant, and for whom spring-break sexual liberationism is increasingly costly: men and women in their 20s.

This is the period of life in which society's most important social commitments take shape -- commitments that produce stability, happiness and children. But the facts of life for 20-somethings are challenging. Puberty -- mainly because of improved health -- comes steadily sooner. Sexual activity kicks off earlier. But the average age at which people marry has grown later; it is now about 26 for women, 28 for men.

This opens a hormone-filled gap -- a decade and more of likely sexual activity before marriage. And for those in that gap, there is little helpful guidance from the broader culture. Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, argues that the "courtship narrative" in the past was clear: dating, engagement, marriage, children. This narrative has been disrupted without being replaced, leaving many 20-somethings in a "relational wasteland."

The casual sex promoted in advertising and entertainment often leads, in the real world of fragile hearts and STDs, to emotional and physical wreckage. But it doesn't seem realistic to expect most men and women to delay sex until marriage at 26 or 28. Such virtue is both admirable and possible -- but it can hardly be a general social expectation. So religious institutions, for example, often avoid this thorny topic, content to live with silence, hypocrisy and active singles groups.

In the absence of a courtship narrative, young people have evolved a casual, ad hoc version of their own: cohabitation. From 1960 to 2007, the number of Americans cohabiting increased fourteenfold. For some, it is a test-drive for marriage. For others, it is an easier, low-commitment alternative to marriage. About 40 percent of children will now spend some of their childhood in a cohabiting union.


How is this working out? Not very well. Relationships defined by lower levels of commitment are, not unexpectedly, more likely to break up. Three-quarters of children born to cohabiting parents will see their parents split up by the time they turn 16, compared with about one-third of children born to married parents. So apart from the counsel of cold showers or "let the good times roll," is there any good advice for those traversing the relational wilderness? Religion and morality contribute ideals of character. But social science also indicates some rough, practical wisdom.

First, while it may not be realistic to maintain the connection between marriage and sex, it remains essential to maintain the connection between marriage and childbearing. Marriage is the most effective institution to bind two parents for a long period in the common enterprise of raising a child -- particularly encouraging fathers to invest time and attention in the lives of their children. And the fatherless are some of the most disadvantaged, betrayed people in our society, prone to delinquency, poverty and academic failure. Cohabitation is no place for children.

Second, the age of first marriage is important to marital survival and happiness. Teen marriage is generally a bad idea, with much higher rates of divorce. Romeo and Juliet were, in fact, young fools. Later marriage has been one of the reasons for declining national divorce rates. But this does not mean the later the better. Divorce rates trend downward until leveling off in the early 20s. But people who marry after 27 tend to have less happy marriages -- perhaps because partners are set in their ways or have unrealistically high standards. The marital sweet spot seems to be in the early to mid-20s.

Third, having a series of low-commitment relationships does not bode well for later marital commitment. Some of this expresses preexisting traits -- people who already have a "nontraditional" view of commitment are less likely to be committed in marriage. But there is also evidence, according to Wilcox, that multiple failed relationships can "poison one's view of the opposite sex." Serial cohabitation trains people for divorce. In contrast, cohabitation by engaged couples seems to have no adverse effect on eventual marriage.

There is little use in preaching against a hurricane of social change. But delaying marriage creates moral, emotional and practical complications. The challenge, as always, is to humanize change. The answer, even in the relational wasteland, is responsibility, commitment and sacrifice for the sake of children.

mgerson@globalengage.org

Anyways, I have to go get kids in like 5 minutes..so here's the update real quick:
-moved into my new Apartment a week ago Sunday (the 30th) but didn't finish moving stuff in from the old Apt. til Tuesday (the 1st) which was my move out date at the old place. Finally got EVERYTHING unpacked by Friday night. Worked about 20 hours moving stuff and packing/unpacking stuff! Exhausting!

-my new roomies are amazing so far..I love them! Sally & Christen ROCK!

-Last week was the first week of having all the students who CHOSE to take Art as their Elective!! So, I was still getting to know them..only know a few names so far. We are doing self portraits, which is typically a very difficult project..but I figured it would help me get to know them better b/c it's about THEM! :)

-My students are amazing so far- lots of GT, Bilingual, Special Ed, etc. Love them all!!

-Broke up with Andrew this past Thursday after we went to the Health care rally at the City Hall. We went to Onion Creek afterward and got to talking about his career, and our life goals, etc. We just keep repeating the same things and realized we can't compromise ourselves on certain issues that we each have..and unfortunately, the break up was the conclusion we came to. I am doing okay w/ it right now. I feel a peace which is incredible..but I do miss him very much. I just know this is not what God wants for me right now. I was waiting to receive that "peace that surpasses all understanding" from God, and I never got it. So, I knew God wanted something different for me. Maybe to be single for a long while and figure out what I want in life..and be comfortable in my own skin..without having to depend on someone else for that. I need to love myself before I can love someone else. There are so many things I need to learn and experience..and in a way I'm being selfish right now. I also have a LOT of healing to do still from my Dad's death, etc. So, please just pray for me and trust me when I say I was waiting for God's "peace" and I just didn't receive it. :)

Later guys~more updates later! Oh, and P.S.- Just heard Obama's speech to the children of our nation..and it was GREAT! Nothing controversial..just motivational!

-I have been making a lot of new friends, especially at church, and I am really excited about that :)

-I am also getting closer to these two girls, Sally & Christen, who will be my NEW roomies for this following year. We just signed a lease for a 3 bedroom apartment at the apartment complex where Sally & I currently live..we will just be moving Sally & my stuff out each of our individual 1 bedroom apartments, across the parking lot to our new place..and Christen doesn't have any furniture yet (she's been subletting a bedroom in a house)..so she will be getting all her stuff from Ikea probably. :) Sally & I were in Spartanaires in high school, and Sally is a year younger than me..and Christen & Sally went to college (Clemson Univ.-South Carolina) together..so that's how I met Christen. :) Christen is 2 years younger than Sally- so that makes her 3 yrs. younger than me (me- 25, Sally- 24, Christen- 22)..I'm gonna be the oldie of the apartment- I get the master bedroom and on the lease I am listed as the "head of the household" haha..:) Anyways, I'm super excited about having roommates again!! :) It'll be fun!

Here's a pic of us together from yesterday:

-Oh yeah, and as you can see in the pic- I dyed my hair a reddish-brown. :) I am also growing it out again. :)

-Today- I went to my new elementary school (I just got hired a couple weeks ago by HISD to teach art at an elementary that is really close to home- 10 mins. away!! and it's only to 3rd-5th graders- I will only have 100 students instead of 500 like I had before)..I was able to get into my classroom and rearrange furniture and organize supplies, etc. :) It was really fun!!! I also picked up my Teacher Edition textbooks to study for lesson plan ideas ;) Silly teacher stuff that makes us teachers excited! ;) I am READY for this new experience in a real public DISTRICT school. :) :) :) God is blessing me!

-Also, I am headed out to New Brunswick, Canada with Andrew TOMORROW! Andrew is Canadian. He was born in Calgary, Alberta..but his family (his mom & dad's families) live in Moncton, New Brunswick (I think- along w/ other towns/cities there). We have wanted to go to Canada together for YEARS now. Andrew hasn't been back in about 5 years..and I think 5 years ago we were broken up or something. Anyways, it'll be nice to see his homeland, and meet all the family that I haven't already met (a lot of them come down to Texas for a few weeks or months at a time- mostly the grandparents and a few of the aunts, etc.). I'm sure I'll have beautiful photos and stories to share. :)

-Oh, and a couple weeks ago I did a painting at my Church w/ my friend Wayne. We did the story of David & Goliath..and we did more abstract versions of it. Not just the typical scene of them fighting. I painted David's hand w/ the slingshot, and Wayne did Goliath's body lying on the ground- with focus on the head/arm, and the legs stretched out w/ nice perspective. Here we are with our paintings. Oh, and we exchanged them! So, I have his hanging on my wall. We also did Wine paintings together of a still life we set up at his house..here are photos from all that stuff..it's nice to have a painting buddy:

His wine painting:

My wine painting:

-Along with painting with Wayne, I have also met some of his friends at this country western dance club here, and have learned how to two step, and through one of the professional ballroom dancers I met through him & his friend, Madison, I learned how to do the rumba and east and west coast swing! :) Here is a pic of me dancing w/ this pro ballroom dancer, Zach..I can't wait to go again and learn more!! Once school gets started I will only be able to go on the weekends though!! :( Oh well..

-Oh, and I cannot forget to say- Andrew & I had our NINE year anniversary July 21st!! :) We are getting close to a DECADE! :) It has been fun- we've definitely had our ups and downs- and a couple breakups (2 really big ones- that lasted a year each- so you can subtract if you want). But, through it all- we always end up back together- working through our problems, etc. :) We have worked really hard. I really hope it'll end up in marriage, but we are still praying about that one. :) Even after nine years, it is still a BIG decision, and very life altering. The biggest decision a person ever makes..so, we aren't in a hurry. :) Anyways, thanks to Andrew- for all the patience, love and for being my best friend all these years. :) Love ya~ Oh, and here's a pic of us from HIGH SCHOOL- this pic is from our FIRST date- Sweet 16 Formal. I took him (it's a girl ask guy dance- tradition for SHS- sophomore girls become hostesses and then ask their friends and dates to come- we had to pay to be a hostess, it was like one big coming of age party..) and my friend Kelly set us up b/c my previous date ditched me for some other girl and I had NO options. I am so glad it worked out- who knew we would still be dating nine years later!!! :)

-Well, that's about all for the updates for now!! :) Gotta go pack for Canada! See ya soon~ I'll be back in school/inservice when I write again in a couple weeks! Goodbye wonderful summer vacation! I'll miss you. :( These summer months have been good to me! :( Will have to have weekend adventures now! Later~

Oh, and this has absolutely NOTHING to do with healthcare..I just got sent this link from my friend Nicole off of Perez Hilton's celebrity gossip webpage: http://perezhilton.com/2009-07-17-taylor-hanson-is-a-babymaking-machine Taylor Hanson is a Babymaking Machine!!! :) Haha..it's true. He is 26 and has FOUR kids now. Look at their cute family portrait..they are probably only halfway done. I think the youngest- the baby, Viggo (boy-7 months) is SO cute!!

Anyways, like how my news comes from PBS and then Perez Hilton!? hehe..Later!

Right now, I know I have many blessings- but I am still constantly waiting and seeking something significant- I guess just a direction in my life- for Andrew & my relationship to progress (or end- so that I can know what to progress onto next- Graduate school, Teaching overseas, etc??). We have no idea what direction our relationship is going, and that is really scary for me. We are not ready for marriage yet- we are just not there yet. And it is really discouraging. I am starting to ask myself- is it just me? Will I never be ready? Who knows. Maybe I am too selfish for it! I don't know. But I do know my deepest desires, and those are to be married and have kids someday. So, why is it I am still not ready?? This has absolutely nothing to do with Andrew being ready- this is about me. He might be ready. Who knows....yet again- who knows??? I could say that "who knows" one hundred and fifty bajillion times. :) Anyways, I am still also depressed from time to time about my Dad- there is this weight that hasn't been lifted, and a darkness and heaviness that is still lingering there from his loss. I just feel I am waiting for this weight to be gone, for the darkness to pass, and for my life to move on- in some direction, any direction- but away from the staleness I feel here. I love my life- it's wonderful. I guess I am just ready for something new and exciting. :)

Anyways, here is the verse I just read from my GriefShare daily e-mails..they are great e-mails you get for 365 days of the year- about how to work through the grieving process in a healthy and Christ-centered way, focusing on scripture mostly. :)

Habakkuk 3:17-18
"Though the fig tree does not bud,
and there are no grapes on the vines,
Though the olive crop fails,
and the fields produce no food,
Though there are no sheep in the pen,
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour."

This should be enough. What I bolded is enough- what God has given me. He has saved me- I have eternal life through Him. What else do I need? Honestly- that is it. :) I am complete in all of that..yet I am being a stupid, selfish human- wanting all these silly human things. We are all so flawed- because we are immensely blessed, yet we are always wanting more. And honestly, all we need is God. :) Again, this should be enough.

Done writing for now..Later~

New York City, New York- at Liberty Island where the Statue of Liberty is- we went there Saturday, June 14th. This is a view of a dock over the bay facing Manhattan. The city is beautiful, but of course- our human touch of beauty in this world can never be as great and full of splendor as God's very own creation. It is still interesting though to see these photos contrasting. :) I love both places equally, because they are both experiences that add to my enjoyment of this world. And, you can't discount that architecture is usually pretty amazing, and humans are brilliant in creating the modern world. New York is one of the coolest and strangest cities I have ever explored, thus it's appeal to millions of people from all around the world who live there. :) I can't wait to go back and explore more!

Anyways, those are the two great places I got to visit this summer. :) I would write more about them, and maybe I will later. But for now, that is all. :)

#1....drumroll...... ;) ...... Obvious choice: Audrey Hepburn! :) I think she was truly one of the most beautiful and elegant women to ever live. And this is not because I am named after her, it's because she just was the definition of grace. She was born into an aristocratic family in Brussels, Belgium- her mother was a former Baroness. So, she was almost like royalty. She studied ballet, and wanted to be a prima ballerina, but wasn't quite good enough. So, she became a model, and then eventually an actress, a fashion icon, and a humanitarian- helping with UNICEF and other organizations. She died at 63 from colon cancer. She was just an amazing person!! :) And, not to mention- beautiful- with huge almond shaped brown eyes, nice eyebrows, bone structure, elegant and slender neck, she could pull off any outfit. She was just splendid!! :) I wish she was still alive so I could meet her!

#2 Twiggy- I don't think she is nearly as beautiful as Audrey, but she has a fun style and was an icon of the 60s and the whole "Mod" movement. :) I just wish I could wear her happy sunshiney clothes, and pull off a cute pixie haircut, and wear awesome fake eyelashes! :) She was amazing, and anyone who knows anything about Fashion, will have to put her on their list of Top 10 most beautiful! :) Just something about her big eyes! :) And Twiggy is 59 now, oh and her real name is Lesley Hornby.

#3 Edie Sedgewick- She was Andy Warhol's muse. She is similar to Twiggy in many ways, except more an Icon of the Pop Art movement in NYC instead of a worldwide Fashion Icon, like Twiggy. I think they are both equally beautiful, but there are differences between them. Edie wasn't as talented or gifted as Twiggy I don't think- Edie was just lucky because she was born insanely rich, and landed in NYC at a time when money could buy you into really cool social circles- with people like Andy Warhol. Of course, she was beautiful- but really, she was just a spoiled little rich girl who hung out with cool artists. And, unfortunately- she died extremely young (26 or something) from drug abuse. She went a little crazy, and got taken advantage of by people like Andy Warhol. :( So, I don't so much admire her for her lifestyle in any way, I just think she had a cute and funky urban 60s style.

#4 Elizabeth Taylor- Everybody knows who she is, but unfortunately, as she has aged, I don't think she has aged all that well. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact she won't let herself age without covering it all with plastic surgery and tons of makeup. But, if you look back at movies of her and photos from when she first started, she was gorgeous! I saw this movie "Cleopatra" with her in it, and she was phenomenal. She was not only gorgeous with her beautiful piercing blue eyes, but she was a great actress also! :) No wonder she is so rich and worth millions now. :) She got a great start, and continues to make money because of the way she once was, and she is still beautiful- but she could go a little more natural and allow a few wrinkles and less makeup, etc.. ya know! :) Anyways, here is a shot of her from "Cleopatra". Oh, and she is 77 now.. :)

#5 Marilyn Monroe- Okay, so if I'm going to go with a classic beauty like Elizabeth Taylor, of course I have to have Marilyn on here. (Elizabeth is only before Marilyn because I prefer brunettes to blondes-unless they are funky bleached out blondes like Twiggy & Edie- that's different). I won't even talk about her, except that she was beyond gorgeous, perhaps even more beautiful than Audrey (I don't know, they are pretty much tied to me- just completely opposite in style). Anyways, it is tragic she died so young. 34 I think? I still question whether her suicide was actually a murder and if she was pregnant with JFK's baby! Scandalous! But, anyways, she was also a good actress I think!! :)

#6 Madonna- If we're going for classic beautiful people that are dead or alive, and cut across decades- well, of course, Madonna has to be on here!! :) But, since I have already put people from the 50s and 60s, I am going to skip ahead to someone who I think was really HOT in the 80s, and of course- one of them was Madonna! DUH! That was her prime! :) She is still beautiful now, because she has had lots of plastic surgery, and takes good care of herself also with diet and personal trainers, etc. ..and Kaballah haha. But, I have to post a photo of her from the lovely 80s! ;)

#7 Tori Amos- Skip ahead to the 90s. :) And a redhead! :) Tori became famous in the early 90s, and is still pretty awesomely famous! She is a little crazy, and so is her music, and she once dated the lead singer of the Nine Inch Nails Trent Reznor, and lives in New Orleans and is pretty alternative. She is an amazing singer/songwriter and plays the piano amazingly and her vocals are hauntingly beautiful. Andrew has a crush on her, and I have to admit- that out of all the redheads in the world- she is probably one of the most beautiful, even though I'm not sure if her red hair is natural or not (???) but that doesn't matter- most of the blondes on here are bleached-out fake blondes. I don't think it matters if it's natural, as long as it looks good- I see hair color like makeup- a temporary fun thing. And sometimes- your "fake" hair color fits you so well, it becomes your new real color! ;) You never change it again, much like Tori. I like her..I think if I met her though, I'd be intimidated/scared of her!! ;) I'm not sure..maybe she's really sweet- who knows! ;)

#8 Fiona Apple- I have to put Fiona on here if I'm going to put Tori, but the thing is- she has to be after Tori, just because I don't think she is AS beautiful- but she's pretty close!! :) She is just different. She's not strikingly beautiful at first glance- but she is one of those simple beauties. She can appear kind of "mousey" sometimes, but then you look at her again and think- wow, she's amazing! :) I sometimes think that kind of beauty is better! Maybe because sometimes I see myself that way- kinda mousey and awkward, but sometimes kind of beautiful too. ;) Also, really ridiculously skinny!! ;) I'm not so skinny anymore..thin, but not a twig. Fiona has always been super skinny- but she also struggled with an eating disorder. Her music is very much "angry girl music" but I absolutely LOVE HER MUSIC! I love her soulful voice, and she will always be among my favorites in girly music. :)

#9 Christina Aguilera- Okay, so I was going to put Britney Spears next, because I thought it would be funny to follow Fiona Apple w/ Britney, just because they are so OPPOSITE! ;) One is so cheery, and the other so angry. But, I had to stop and think for a second..if I'm going to put a "Pop" star up here- I have to put the hottest one, and to me- that is Christina! :) I think she is more exotic looking than Britney, and that's probably because she's Hispanic and can sing in Spanish, and she just seems more confident, and I can't get those images of Britney shaving her head out of my own head. Haha.. the crazy Britney thing really took a lot away. Anyways, about Christina, I think it is amazing that she has been so successful, has an INCREDIBLE voice, can pull off pop, r&b, hip hop, etc., she is MARRIED, has a KID, and seems like she didn't lose her head in all of it. :) I still love her! And always probably will. ;) Ever since I'm a genie in a bottle, baby... ;)
Oh, and this pic of her is from Maxim..haha

#10 Natalie Portman- I love her because she is an incredible actress, beautiful, talented- I love all her movies- I loved her FIRST as Queen Amidala in Star Wars (I think that is when I first found out about her), and then in Garden State, V for Vendetta, etc. :) She is amazing. And I love that she is Ivy-League smart and graduated from Harvard, and is into Humanitarian causes, etc. Plus, she just seems really down to earth- like someone I would hang out with if I met her in real life!! :) And she seems kind of artistic and into "indie" films, etc. YAY! Sorry, Natalie that you have to be #10..but, unfortunately, it's just the way it worked out! ;)

Okay, that's all for now!! Scarlett Johansson, Gwen Stefani, Rachael McAdams, and Zooey Deschanel are runner-ups. :) They just didn't quite make the cut! :)
Later~ gotta pack for Yellowstone!! Then going to Bible Study, etc. I will post pics from NYC SOON!

I will write some more about my Dad as Father's day approaches..but this is all for now! :)
Thanks Dad- that through your untimely death- you are still continuing to glorify God- just at the thought of you looking down from Heaven.
I know what you would've wanted Daddy. :)
I love you and I hope you are having a good time up there!! ;)

* Oh, and I'm not saying that I don't still struggle with it from time to time..I am still sad and still have days where I feel unmotivated to do anything- I just want to sit at home and cry...but then I just remind myself of my Dad looking down, and more importantly- GOD looking down on me. I want to make both my fathers in heaven proud. :) I have two there.. ;)

Kayaking!

Inside her lake house..beautiful architecture and furniture=perfect vacation home! :)

Crazy 70s style one-pieces we bought at Wal*mart! :) We thought they were hilarious...don't you like the sunglasses at night? ;)

Me in hot sunglasses.. ;)

Cheap hippie outfits from Wal*Mart! :)

Anyways, we had a lot of fun..that was like a week and a half ago! We also made our friend Jim a care package with a "Snuggie" blanket in it and magazines, etc. because we found out he had Pneumonia on Sunday. So, Sunday afternoon and Monday was spent putting it together and taking funny pictures with the Snuggie to demonstrate to Jim how to use one..hehe. Here is a parody of the "Snuggie" infomercial..:

We are going to the lake house again this weekend, and I will be sure to take lots of photos of our crazy antics (buying weird clothes/swimsuits basically that match)... Later! ;)

P.S.- I am super happy to have found a girl to hang out with lately! Sally is amazing, and she lives in my apartment complex (we found out the weekend of our lake house trip when I was asking her where to meet her)..so, we are having dinner at her apartment tonight! And maybe we'll start taking turns making dinner at each other's places. :) It makes living alone much better having a fun neighbor to hang out with!! God continually blesses me by putting awesome people and situations in my life!! :) YAY! Oh, and Sally, if you read this- thanks for inviting me to the lake house all these times and being so fun to hang out with!! :)

P.P.S.- For those of you who don't know- Sally & I went to high school together and were in the drill/dance team together. We just recently reunited over Christmas break when she was hanging out with our mutual friend, Jim. We hadn't seen each other in like 7 years probably! :) YAY! for reunions and renewing old friendships. :)