New York City, New York- at Liberty Island where the Statue of Liberty is- we went there Saturday, June 14th. This is a view of a dock over the bay facing Manhattan. The city is beautiful, but of course- our human touch of beauty in this world can never be as great and full of splendor as God's very own creation. It is still interesting though to see these photos contrasting. :) I love both places equally, because they are both experiences that add to my enjoyment of this world. And, you can't discount that architecture is usually pretty amazing, and humans are brilliant in creating the modern world. New York is one of the coolest and strangest cities I have ever explored, thus it's appeal to millions of people from all around the world who live there. :) I can't wait to go back and explore more!

Anyways, those are the two great places I got to visit this summer. :) I would write more about them, and maybe I will later. But for now, that is all. :)

#1....drumroll...... ;) ...... Obvious choice: Audrey Hepburn! :) I think she was truly one of the most beautiful and elegant women to ever live. And this is not because I am named after her, it's because she just was the definition of grace. She was born into an aristocratic family in Brussels, Belgium- her mother was a former Baroness. So, she was almost like royalty. She studied ballet, and wanted to be a prima ballerina, but wasn't quite good enough. So, she became a model, and then eventually an actress, a fashion icon, and a humanitarian- helping with UNICEF and other organizations. She died at 63 from colon cancer. She was just an amazing person!! :) And, not to mention- beautiful- with huge almond shaped brown eyes, nice eyebrows, bone structure, elegant and slender neck, she could pull off any outfit. She was just splendid!! :) I wish she was still alive so I could meet her!

#2 Twiggy- I don't think she is nearly as beautiful as Audrey, but she has a fun style and was an icon of the 60s and the whole "Mod" movement. :) I just wish I could wear her happy sunshiney clothes, and pull off a cute pixie haircut, and wear awesome fake eyelashes! :) She was amazing, and anyone who knows anything about Fashion, will have to put her on their list of Top 10 most beautiful! :) Just something about her big eyes! :) And Twiggy is 59 now, oh and her real name is Lesley Hornby.

#3 Edie Sedgewick- She was Andy Warhol's muse. She is similar to Twiggy in many ways, except more an Icon of the Pop Art movement in NYC instead of a worldwide Fashion Icon, like Twiggy. I think they are both equally beautiful, but there are differences between them. Edie wasn't as talented or gifted as Twiggy I don't think- Edie was just lucky because she was born insanely rich, and landed in NYC at a time when money could buy you into really cool social circles- with people like Andy Warhol. Of course, she was beautiful- but really, she was just a spoiled little rich girl who hung out with cool artists. And, unfortunately- she died extremely young (26 or something) from drug abuse. She went a little crazy, and got taken advantage of by people like Andy Warhol. :( So, I don't so much admire her for her lifestyle in any way, I just think she had a cute and funky urban 60s style.

#4 Elizabeth Taylor- Everybody knows who she is, but unfortunately, as she has aged, I don't think she has aged all that well. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact she won't let herself age without covering it all with plastic surgery and tons of makeup. But, if you look back at movies of her and photos from when she first started, she was gorgeous! I saw this movie "Cleopatra" with her in it, and she was phenomenal. She was not only gorgeous with her beautiful piercing blue eyes, but she was a great actress also! :) No wonder she is so rich and worth millions now. :) She got a great start, and continues to make money because of the way she once was, and she is still beautiful- but she could go a little more natural and allow a few wrinkles and less makeup, etc.. ya know! :) Anyways, here is a shot of her from "Cleopatra". Oh, and she is 77 now.. :)

#5 Marilyn Monroe- Okay, so if I'm going to go with a classic beauty like Elizabeth Taylor, of course I have to have Marilyn on here. (Elizabeth is only before Marilyn because I prefer brunettes to blondes-unless they are funky bleached out blondes like Twiggy & Edie- that's different). I won't even talk about her, except that she was beyond gorgeous, perhaps even more beautiful than Audrey (I don't know, they are pretty much tied to me- just completely opposite in style). Anyways, it is tragic she died so young. 34 I think? I still question whether her suicide was actually a murder and if she was pregnant with JFK's baby! Scandalous! But, anyways, she was also a good actress I think!! :)

#6 Madonna- If we're going for classic beautiful people that are dead or alive, and cut across decades- well, of course, Madonna has to be on here!! :) But, since I have already put people from the 50s and 60s, I am going to skip ahead to someone who I think was really HOT in the 80s, and of course- one of them was Madonna! DUH! That was her prime! :) She is still beautiful now, because she has had lots of plastic surgery, and takes good care of herself also with diet and personal trainers, etc. ..and Kaballah haha. But, I have to post a photo of her from the lovely 80s! ;)

#7 Tori Amos- Skip ahead to the 90s. :) And a redhead! :) Tori became famous in the early 90s, and is still pretty awesomely famous! She is a little crazy, and so is her music, and she once dated the lead singer of the Nine Inch Nails Trent Reznor, and lives in New Orleans and is pretty alternative. She is an amazing singer/songwriter and plays the piano amazingly and her vocals are hauntingly beautiful. Andrew has a crush on her, and I have to admit- that out of all the redheads in the world- she is probably one of the most beautiful, even though I'm not sure if her red hair is natural or not (???) but that doesn't matter- most of the blondes on here are bleached-out fake blondes. I don't think it matters if it's natural, as long as it looks good- I see hair color like makeup- a temporary fun thing. And sometimes- your "fake" hair color fits you so well, it becomes your new real color! ;) You never change it again, much like Tori. I like her..I think if I met her though, I'd be intimidated/scared of her!! ;) I'm not sure..maybe she's really sweet- who knows! ;)

#8 Fiona Apple- I have to put Fiona on here if I'm going to put Tori, but the thing is- she has to be after Tori, just because I don't think she is AS beautiful- but she's pretty close!! :) She is just different. She's not strikingly beautiful at first glance- but she is one of those simple beauties. She can appear kind of "mousey" sometimes, but then you look at her again and think- wow, she's amazing! :) I sometimes think that kind of beauty is better! Maybe because sometimes I see myself that way- kinda mousey and awkward, but sometimes kind of beautiful too. ;) Also, really ridiculously skinny!! ;) I'm not so skinny anymore..thin, but not a twig. Fiona has always been super skinny- but she also struggled with an eating disorder. Her music is very much "angry girl music" but I absolutely LOVE HER MUSIC! I love her soulful voice, and she will always be among my favorites in girly music. :)

#9 Christina Aguilera- Okay, so I was going to put Britney Spears next, because I thought it would be funny to follow Fiona Apple w/ Britney, just because they are so OPPOSITE! ;) One is so cheery, and the other so angry. But, I had to stop and think for a second..if I'm going to put a "Pop" star up here- I have to put the hottest one, and to me- that is Christina! :) I think she is more exotic looking than Britney, and that's probably because she's Hispanic and can sing in Spanish, and she just seems more confident, and I can't get those images of Britney shaving her head out of my own head. Haha.. the crazy Britney thing really took a lot away. Anyways, about Christina, I think it is amazing that she has been so successful, has an INCREDIBLE voice, can pull off pop, r&b, hip hop, etc., she is MARRIED, has a KID, and seems like she didn't lose her head in all of it. :) I still love her! And always probably will. ;) Ever since I'm a genie in a bottle, baby... ;)
Oh, and this pic of her is from Maxim..haha

#10 Natalie Portman- I love her because she is an incredible actress, beautiful, talented- I love all her movies- I loved her FIRST as Queen Amidala in Star Wars (I think that is when I first found out about her), and then in Garden State, V for Vendetta, etc. :) She is amazing. And I love that she is Ivy-League smart and graduated from Harvard, and is into Humanitarian causes, etc. Plus, she just seems really down to earth- like someone I would hang out with if I met her in real life!! :) And she seems kind of artistic and into "indie" films, etc. YAY! Sorry, Natalie that you have to be #10..but, unfortunately, it's just the way it worked out! ;)

Okay, that's all for now!! Scarlett Johansson, Gwen Stefani, Rachael McAdams, and Zooey Deschanel are runner-ups. :) They just didn't quite make the cut! :)
Later~ gotta pack for Yellowstone!! Then going to Bible Study, etc. I will post pics from NYC SOON!

I will write some more about my Dad as Father's day approaches..but this is all for now! :)
Thanks Dad- that through your untimely death- you are still continuing to glorify God- just at the thought of you looking down from Heaven.
I know what you would've wanted Daddy. :)
I love you and I hope you are having a good time up there!! ;)

* Oh, and I'm not saying that I don't still struggle with it from time to time..I am still sad and still have days where I feel unmotivated to do anything- I just want to sit at home and cry...but then I just remind myself of my Dad looking down, and more importantly- GOD looking down on me. I want to make both my fathers in heaven proud. :) I have two there.. ;)

Kayaking!

Inside her lake house..beautiful architecture and furniture=perfect vacation home! :)

Crazy 70s style one-pieces we bought at Wal*mart! :) We thought they were hilarious...don't you like the sunglasses at night? ;)

Me in hot sunglasses.. ;)

Cheap hippie outfits from Wal*Mart! :)

Anyways, we had a lot of fun..that was like a week and a half ago! We also made our friend Jim a care package with a "Snuggie" blanket in it and magazines, etc. because we found out he had Pneumonia on Sunday. So, Sunday afternoon and Monday was spent putting it together and taking funny pictures with the Snuggie to demonstrate to Jim how to use one..hehe. Here is a parody of the "Snuggie" infomercial..:

We are going to the lake house again this weekend, and I will be sure to take lots of photos of our crazy antics (buying weird clothes/swimsuits basically that match)... Later! ;)

P.S.- I am super happy to have found a girl to hang out with lately! Sally is amazing, and she lives in my apartment complex (we found out the weekend of our lake house trip when I was asking her where to meet her)..so, we are having dinner at her apartment tonight! And maybe we'll start taking turns making dinner at each other's places. :) It makes living alone much better having a fun neighbor to hang out with!! God continually blesses me by putting awesome people and situations in my life!! :) YAY! Oh, and Sally, if you read this- thanks for inviting me to the lake house all these times and being so fun to hang out with!! :)

P.P.S.- For those of you who don't know- Sally & I went to high school together and were in the drill/dance team together. We just recently reunited over Christmas break when she was hanging out with our mutual friend, Jim. We hadn't seen each other in like 7 years probably! :) YAY! for reunions and renewing old friendships. :)

Here are the photos..Mom's Bday & then also Rollerskating with friends Thursday! :)
Off to Lakehouse w/ my friend Sally!!

Benihana is the stereotypical Birthday place..but it's okay, it was a blast!! ;)

And rollerskating with all my friends was wonderful- Andrew, Cat, Elizabeth & Matt! YAY! We will have to do it again! ;)

I didn't know what this expression meant or that it even existed a few years ago. But, this "elephant in the room" has been prevalent over the past two and a half years. My dad's cancer was our "elephant" that nobody ever wanted to discuss for that whole year he was suffering from it. Now, the cancer is gone, and it took my dad- but the elephant is still there- and now the elephant is different- it's when I am feeling sad or down about my dad being gone, and I feel like people don't want to just simply ask how I'm doing, because they are scared of my reaction. People- just get over it- if you want to say something to someone and ask how they are doing- just do it!! If they start crying or something, then so what! Embrace it, and embrace those moments that make us human and bring us closer together.

There are also funnier, less serious "elephants in the room". Or just embarassing or awkward ones. Unfortunately, I cannot think of any right now- maybe when you know a new couple is dating, but you're not sure whether to acknowledge it or not. That seems to go on a lot at our church. There are all these new couples popping up- but I never know what to say because I'm not sure if they want to be made "public". Anyways, I like metaphors- they work so well so often!! :) They describe situations perfectly.

Maybe I will write an entire entry on metaphors that have worked perfectly to describe situations in my life. :) Later...

Oh yeah, and she's in a band "She & Him" -here is one of her videos..it's cute! "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?"

P.S.- I just saw her in "Yes Man" with Jim Carey- great movie..go out & rent it! :)

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These daily readings from Charles Spurgeon's "Morning & Evening" are so beautiful. They are like my daily bread..they keep me going each day. :) I also have these verses that sit on my desk in a little flip-book calender thing, and it's amazing how fitting they are for each day!! :)
Here are a couple from the past two days!

"And we know that all good things
work together for good to them
that love God, to them who are
the called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28 KJV (May 17th)

"But He knows the way I take;
When He has tried me,
I shall come forth as gold."
-Job 23:10 NASB (May 18th)

And another verse from my facebook daily verse:

"I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."
— Philippians 1:19 NIV
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All these readings are full of hope for tomorrow. God is pulling me through this "refiner's fire" and someday I will come out of it stronger and more beautiful, hopefully full of grace and thankfulness for these struggles. I know that I have grown closer to Him through all of this. And, in a way, I realize my Dad would be looking down from Heaven and see all this- and he would be glad to have died- to bring people closer to God. My dad would look down and realize- "my death served a purpose- look at all these people who are now desperate for God's healing, and even though they are hurting and wounded by my death, it will all be worth it in the end". Plus, someday- in the not so distant future, we will all be reunited in Heaven. I can't see my Dad's death as the end of our relationship. Someday I will see him again in Heaven, and I will give him a big hug and tell him how much I missed him, and God will be able to answer some of the deep questions I've had all this time. The mysteries of this world will be revealed, and everything will make sense.

Well, off to finish up class~

So, two very philosophical theological Christian books, a Teeny-bopper Romance book, and one Memoir about a Widow's Grief-which she actually is kind of humorous at times (she doesn't claim to be a Christian). Anyways, over the summer I am planning on reading a wide range of books by all types of authors and on all different subjects. But recently- Memoirs have been what I've been drawn to most.

In "The Path of Loneliness", Elisabeth Elliot talks about how Christ suffered and so we are called to suffer as well. It's not meant to be a punishment, but it is actually the path we have chosen to follow. Here is a quote from her book:

"Acceptance of discipleship is the utter abandonment of the disciple, the surrender of all rights, to the Master. This abandonment, in all cases, will mean pain. Christ listed some of the troubles His followers could expect, so that they would not be taken by surprise and thus discard their faith in Him. He did not offer immunity. He asked for trust.."

I don't know about you..but that is hard to read. I grew up thinking Christians were spared a lot of the pain and suffering the rest of the world endured, but it is actually BECAUSE of who we are in the world- that we will be called to suffer more. Much like Christ did. But nothing the same really-because he suffered more than any of us could ever know.

"As we have noted, Jesus published no false advertising. He was offering the kingdom of heaven--bliss, eternal life, fullness of joy. But He spoke of the small gate and the narrow road. He promised suffering, not escape from suffering. You cannot take up a cross and at the same time not take up a cross, or learn how to die and how not to die.

While the Lord draws up no contract with us, the great thing for us is to remember how the kingdom of heaven works- life out of death is the operative principle. Where there is a clear and shining Purpose behind and under and above it all, faith can say an honest YES."

She then goes onto quote Amy Carmichael, who was a missionary who knew much suffering and loneliness. "She knew the temptation to try to escape by forgetting, by drowning the trouble with activity, by shutting oneself off from the world, by surrendering to defeat and sullen resentment. She also knew that none of the above would lead to peace. She found what does lead to peace, here and now:

He said, 'I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O Voices moaning deep within me, cease.'
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, 'I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stire me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease.'
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said, 'I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.'
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, 'I will submit; I am defeated.
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmurings, why will ye not cease?'
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, 'I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God tomorrow
Will to His son explain.'
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in Acceptance lieth peace.

I think this poem is incredible!! :) I have been doing exactly these things- trying to FORGET "the dying faces"; trying to keep myself insanely busy "I will crowd action upon action"; and withdrawing and being quiet "Shut be my door to pain"; and lastly submitting to God and feeling defeated. The only way to gain peace is to "accept the breaking sorrow, which God tomorrow, will to His son explain". This makes sense, because even in Psychology, in the stages of Grief- Acceptance is the final stage. I just need to ACCEPT God's will for my life. :) "Love means Acceptance". :) I am getting there slowly...

Well, off to College Station to watch my brother move up in the Corps of Cadets at A&M! :) He's going to be a JUNIOR! WOW! When he graduates college- it's going to make me feel REALLY old! Haha.. Later~ I will post some pics later..I never do that!

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
-Proverbs 16:24

I feel lately God has been listening to my prayers and helping me to get out of my "grief bubble" and back into the world. :) There were certain days over the past few months where I was completely consumed with my grief, and not totally focused on the world around me. I was in a cloudy, hazy "bubble" of sorts. This is common to many people who experience grief, but it's kind of sucky, because it's like you're present physically, but not emotionally. All the joys and beautiful emotions of the moment are surpassed by the constant nagging thoughts of missing another person, and thinking to the past- to their death, etc. It can be a pretty dark and lonely place being so consumed in your thoughts. I will always miss my dad, and that will always be there, but I still need to live fully in the moment. God has been blessing me lately by helping me find joy in simple things, and in people surrounding me. :) Sometimes it's just in the kids I teach each day, and in something they say or draw. :) Anyways, thanks be to GOD!! :) Later~

These lyrics are amazing..and go along so much with some of the complex thoughts I've been having lately about life. Every single person is exactly the same- we will all meet our death someday, and I think that's what "Til The Sun Turns Black" means..and we can either waste our lives away like the corporate man whose "possessions are his throne" or we can be like the "wise man simply" who are "living loving quietly, every breath he takes eternity". I just think these words are poignant and wonderful in their simpleness. But it really just strikes a chord with me and my reflections on life lately. :)

Can you see the young and pretty
Confident as cops
Blooming, laughing in the shops
Till the sun turns black

Can you see the old and lonely
Walking through the park
Pushing grocery carts
Till the sun turns black

Can you see the corporate man
He's winning on the telephone
His possessions are his throne
Till the sun turns black

Can you see him in his lounger
Watching TV in the dark
Waiting for a spark
Till the sun turns black

Oh oh oh oh oh
Who are we
Oh oh oh oh oh
Who are we
Who are we

Can you see the working classes
Trudging through their days
Time goes slowly when you're only waiting
Till the sun turns black

Can you see the wise man simply
Living, loving quietly
Every breath he takes eternity
Till the sun turns black

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing... I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find until after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of my life to press on to that country and to help others do the same. - C.S. Lewis

She describes grief perfectly..and did some of the same research on Google that I have done....

"The clinical literature on grief is extensive. Much of it reinforces what even the newish mourner has already begun to realize: Grief isn't rational; it isn't linear; it is experienced in waves. Joan Didion talks about this in The Year of Magical Thinking, her remarkable memoir about losing her husband while her daughter was ill: "[V]irtually everyone who has ever experienced grief mentions this phenomenon of waves," she writes. She quotes a 1944 description by Michael Lindemann, then chief of psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. He defines grief as:

sensations of somatic distress occurring in waves lasting from twenty minutes to an hour at a time, a feeling of tightness in the throat, choking with shortness of breath, need for sighing, and an empty feeling in the abdomen, lack of muscular power, and an intensive subjective distress described as tension or mental pain.

Intensive subjective distress. Yes, exactly: That was the objective description I was looking for. The experience is, as Lindemann notes, brutally physiological: It literally takes your breath away. This is also what makes grief so hard to communicate to anyone who hasn't experienced it."

There actually ARE physiological side effects of Grief...meaning your body and mind are connected! And, there is scientific proof of this. :)

And she talks about the so-called "Five Stages of Grief"..

"Of course, like so many other ideas popularized in the 1970s, the five stages turned out to be more complex than initially thought. There is little empirical evidence suggesting that we actually experience capital-letter Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance in simple sequence. In On Grief and Grieving, published years later, Kübler-Ross insists she never meant to suggest the stages were sequential. But if you read On Death and Dying—as I just did—you'll find that this is slightly disingenuous. In it, she does imply, for example, that anger must be experienced before bargaining. (I tried, then, to tackle On Grief and Grieving but threw it across the room in a fit of frustration at its feel-good emphasis on "healing.") Researchers at Yale recently conducted an extensive study of bereavement and found that Kübler-Ross' stages were more like states. While people did experience those emotions, the dominant feeling they experienced after a death was yearning or pining.

Yearning is definitely what I feel. I keep thinking of a night, 13 years ago, when I took a late flight to Dublin, where I was going to live for six months. This would be the longest time I had ever been away from home. I woke up disoriented in my seat at 1 a.m. to see a spectacular display of the aurora borealis. I had never seen anything like it. The twisting lights in the sky seemed to evoke a presence, a living force. I felt a sudden, acute desire to turn around and go back—not just to my worried parents back in Brooklyn, but deep into my childhood, into my mother's arms holding me on those late nights when we would drive home from dinner at a neighbor's house in Maine, and she would sing a lullaby and tell me to put my head on her soft, warm shoulder. And I would sleep."

very intereesting and insightful article....makes me feel more "normal" in my grief.

MORNING:

"We dwell in him."
-- 1 John 4:13

Do you want a house for your soul? Do you ask, "What is the purchase?"
It is something less than proud human nature will like to give. It is
without money and without price. Ah! you would like to pay a
respectable rent! You would love to do something to win Christ? Then
you cannot have the house, for it is "without price." Will you take my
Master's house on a lease for all eternity, with nothing to pay for it,
nothing but the ground-rent of loving and serving him for ever? Will
you take Jesus and "dwell in him?" See, this house is furnished with
all you want, it is filled with riches more than you will spend as long
as you live. Here you can have intimate communion with Christ and feast
on his love; here are tables well-stored with food for you to live on
for ever; in it, when weary, you can find rest with Jesus; and from it
you can look out and see heaven itself. Will you have the house? Ah! if
you are houseless, you will say, "I should like to have the house; but
may I have it?" Yes; there is the key-the key is, "Come to Jesus."
"But," you say, "I am too shabby for such a house." Never mind; there
are garments inside. If you feel guilty and condemned, come; and though
the house is too good for you, Christ will make you good enough for the
house by-and-by. He will wash you and cleanse you, and you will yet be
able to sing, "We dwell in him." Believer: thrice happy art thou to
have such a dwelling-place! Greatly privileged thou art, for thou hast
a "strong habitation" in which thou art ever safe. And "dwelling in
him," thou hast not only a perfect and secure house, but an everlasting
one. When this world shall have melted like a dream, our house shall
live, and stand more imperishable than marble, more solid than granite,
self-existent as God, for it is God himself-"We dwell in him."



EVENING:

"All the days of my appointed time will I wait."
-- Job 14:14

A little stay on earth will make heaven more heavenly. Nothing makes
rest so sweet as toil; nothing renders security so pleasant as exposure
to alarms. The bitter quassia cups of earth will give a relish to the
new wine which sparkles in the golden bowls of glory. Our battered
armour and scarred countenances will render more illustrious our
victory above, when we are welcomed to the seats of those who have
overcome the world. We should not have full fellowship with Christ if
we did not for awhile sojourn below, for he was baptized with a baptism
of suffering among men, and we must be baptized with the same if we
would share his kingdom. Fellowship with Christ is so honourable that
the sorest sorrow is a light price by which to procure it. Another
reason for our lingering here is for the good of others. We would not
wish to enter heaven till our work is done, and it may be that we are
yet ordained to minister light to souls benighted in the wilderness of
sin. Our prolonged stay here is doubtless for God's glory. A tried
saint, like a well-cut diamond, glitters much in the King's crown.
Nothing reflects so much honour on a workman as a protracted and severe
trial of his work, and its triumphant endurance of the ordeal without
giving way in any part. We are God's workmanship, in whom he will be
glorified by our afflictions. It is for the honour of Jesus that we
endure the trial of our faith with sacred joy. Let each man surrender
his own longings to the glory of Jesus, and feel, "If my lying in the
dust would elevate my Lord by so much as an inch, let me still lie
among the pots of earth. If to live on earth for ever would make my
Lord more glorious, it should be my heaven to be shut out of heaven."
Our time is fixed and settled by eternal decree. Let us not be anxious
about it, but wait with patience till the gates of pearl shall open.